So what do you get when you put a whole pile of passionate cyclists in the back room of a pub with their own bar tender and a couple of rollers? Answer: Roller Frenzy!
For those of you who are wondering what on earth I'm talking about, rollers are a form of bike trainer where the bike is placed on a set of cylinders in a frame, that rotate as you ride. Commonly the bike is free standing, that is not attached to the trainer, which means you need a certain amount of balance to use them. Suffice to say, if you ever need a laugh, google bikes on rollers and I suspect you will find numerous videos showing you exactly how not to ride them! Thankfully, in the interest of public safety, the front forks of the bikes were secured during the roller frenzy. I really didn't want to see the carnage that would result from me riding an unsecured bike on rollers!
Anyway, our club vice president had talked me into having a go, something about mid level women usually doing all right (flattery will get you everywhere!). The Boss of the Bobs (Rob Cannon) had also signed up, neither of us really having any idea what we were getting into. However we decided to get into the spirit of the event by kitting up in our Bob kit and have a bit of a race against each other. A polite request by the Boss resulted in us being paired up against each other for our qualifying round. However, for some reason we also became the first riders to go, and it was an eager crowd that lined up to cheers us on!
Cannonball, aka Rob Cannon and I had worked out a plan for the evening. We were going to do our qualifying round, then get beaten in the first round so that we could sit down, have a meal and cheer our mates on. But first there was a bit of pride on the line - who was the fastest Bob?
Apparently me! There were a few seconds in it, but I had beaten the Boss Bob! I had also quickly realised just how hard roller frenzy was going to be. No resistance meant that my legs were spinning like crazy and when the crowd is cheering you on, you just had to go flat out! Also, we couldn't see the dial so you really just had to pedal as fast as you could and hope that you would beat the other person.
Qualification out the way, we hobbled over to the bar, grabbed a coke, and parked ourselves in the beer garden to cool down. With 32 riders we were able to relax as everybody else did their qualifying ride, cheered on by the crowd. Soon we found up who we were up against in Round 1 - the Smiling Assassin for Rob and the Dark Destroyer for me. In case your wondering, we had to give ourselves nick names for the night and somewhat unimaginatively, I went by V.
With Cannonball again first rider up, I found myself on domestique duties! This mostly involved cheering very loudly and taking the bike when he was done, as he was mostly too busy coughing to carry it. Much to our surprise, Cannonball beat the Smiling Assassin on the line! Rob was having a bit of trouble following our plan, but I figured that I was likely to stick to it, as the Dark Destroyer was super fast. However, I hadn't counted on the expertise of the handicappers, nor the motivational effects of the crowd!
With everybody cheering loudly, I went flat out and due to an advantageous handicap, managed to hang on for the win! Rob and I laughed at each other for our inability to stick to our plan, who knew the Bob's had a competitive streak?
So after a bit of a break, we faced Round 2, Cannonball vs the Wannahuckalugie and V vs Sic Mic! As it turns out Sic Mic had a brand new bike (literally delivered that day) complete with pint holder! I figured such a dedicated cyclist would have my number and both Rob and I were looking forward to a bite to eat and a sit down, specifically one that didn't involve moving the legs! However it was not to be, with both of us getting through to the quarter finals!
By this time, standing was becoming difficult and both of us looked like we were running out of steam. Cannonball was up against the Procrastinator and I was up against the Flash! If we both made it through this round we'd be facing off against each other in the semi finals!
The crowd roared as Cannonball lined up against the Procrastinator, legs ready, coughing kept to a bare minimum. Then they were off, heads down and legs flying! Some excellent handicapping once again rendered the decision a difficult one, but Cannonball was awarded the win! Rob C was through the semi finals!
Then it was my turn, and in my state of complete exhaustion I almost became the only person on the night to fall off the rollers! Thankfully some excellent guidance from my holder, David Miller, resulted in me starting the race semi-upright and on my bike.
I knew if I won this one the next round would be Bob vs Bob! The potential for drama was high as we got the starting signal and I powered my legs into action. The crowd cheered for both of us, but in the Flash pipped me at the post, ending my night, but on the bright side I could now have a cider!
After a restorative cider, I resumed domestic duties, excited to be supporting a Bob in the Semi Finals! Even though I'm sure Cannonball was hoping to bow out this round, I couldn't help but hope he would beat the Flash, who had just beaten me.
After a suitable break, I set up the Cannonball's bike on the rollers and positioned myself in prime cheering position. Head hung low from coughing, the Cannonball made his way onto the bike. The Flash was raring to go and I must admit, I thought it would be a hard ask for the Cannonball to take him. But Rob C is nothing if not stubborn (often to his detriment) and when they were told go, he pedaled his legs off! I cheered him on with the rallying cry of "Go Bob" and he just kept pedaling harder. Finally the race was done and he had won! The Cannonball had made it to the final!
This is where I may have lost the plot a little, laughing my head off as I collected his bike an congratulated him, because what I had been told is that the final would be raced over 1000m! That was double the distance we had been racing! There was Rob, doubled over, coughing his lungs out with me standing there laughing at the fact he would have to go on! The Bobs must be crazy!
The final would be Port Adelaide favourite "Deano" vs Crazy "Cannonball" from the Bobs. Deano looked fit and raring to go, having taken out competitors such as Pecker Legs (who had beaten Anna Meares) and Sheep Stations, not to mention the fastest rider on the night, Rikster! Cannonball on the other hand, while having knocked off some quality competition, looked like he could barely stand and the compere was having trouble getting a word out of him between coughing fits! Still, I had seen him ride in worse conditions numerous times, so I wasn't going to give up on him yet.
Dutiful domestique, I placed his bike on the rollers, checking that all was well with the machine. Resuming my prime cheering position, I readied what was left of my voice for the final round. After one final cough they were given the start and they were off. Deano's legs spun like crazy as he tried to chase down the Cannonball. Rob C was going as hard as he could, but he was fading fast, his head almost moving more than his legs as he struggled to get the last ounce of speed from his exhausted body. In the last 150m, after much shouting and cheering, Deano caught the Cannonball and hung on to win Roller Frenzy V!
The Bobs had done themselves proud, with a hard fought 2nd place. Neither of us had anything left and I'm pretty sure I sacrificed my voice as well as my legs at this race! Congratulations to Deano for the win and many thanks to Port Adelaide Cycling Club and all the volunteers who helped put this race on, I'm looking forward to the next one!
In case you're still at a loss as to what I've been talking about, check out this short video compiled by the Dark Destroyer. Also, thanks to Mr Carl for providing the pictures for this blog post.
 |
| How was your Friday night? |
For those of you who are wondering what on earth I'm talking about, rollers are a form of bike trainer where the bike is placed on a set of cylinders in a frame, that rotate as you ride. Commonly the bike is free standing, that is not attached to the trainer, which means you need a certain amount of balance to use them. Suffice to say, if you ever need a laugh, google bikes on rollers and I suspect you will find numerous videos showing you exactly how not to ride them! Thankfully, in the interest of public safety, the front forks of the bikes were secured during the roller frenzy. I really didn't want to see the carnage that would result from me riding an unsecured bike on rollers!
 |
| Pecker Legs |
Anyway, our club vice president had talked me into having a go, something about mid level women usually doing all right (flattery will get you everywhere!). The Boss of the Bobs (Rob Cannon) had also signed up, neither of us really having any idea what we were getting into. However we decided to get into the spirit of the event by kitting up in our Bob kit and have a bit of a race against each other. A polite request by the Boss resulted in us being paired up against each other for our qualifying round. However, for some reason we also became the first riders to go, and it was an eager crowd that lined up to cheers us on!
 |
| The Rikster vs Miss Wiss |
Cannonball, aka Rob Cannon and I had worked out a plan for the evening. We were going to do our qualifying round, then get beaten in the first round so that we could sit down, have a meal and cheer our mates on. But first there was a bit of pride on the line - who was the fastest Bob?
 |
| Dark Destroyer |
Apparently me! There were a few seconds in it, but I had beaten the Boss Bob! I had also quickly realised just how hard roller frenzy was going to be. No resistance meant that my legs were spinning like crazy and when the crowd is cheering you on, you just had to go flat out! Also, we couldn't see the dial so you really just had to pedal as fast as you could and hope that you would beat the other person.
Qualification out the way, we hobbled over to the bar, grabbed a coke, and parked ourselves in the beer garden to cool down. With 32 riders we were able to relax as everybody else did their qualifying ride, cheered on by the crowd. Soon we found up who we were up against in Round 1 - the Smiling Assassin for Rob and the Dark Destroyer for me. In case your wondering, we had to give ourselves nick names for the night and somewhat unimaginatively, I went by V.
 |
| Pain Face |
With Cannonball again first rider up, I found myself on domestique duties! This mostly involved cheering very loudly and taking the bike when he was done, as he was mostly too busy coughing to carry it. Much to our surprise, Cannonball beat the Smiling Assassin on the line! Rob was having a bit of trouble following our plan, but I figured that I was likely to stick to it, as the Dark Destroyer was super fast. However, I hadn't counted on the expertise of the handicappers, nor the motivational effects of the crowd!
With everybody cheering loudly, I went flat out and due to an advantageous handicap, managed to hang on for the win! Rob and I laughed at each other for our inability to stick to our plan, who knew the Bob's had a competitive streak?
 |
| Wannahuckalugie |
So after a bit of a break, we faced Round 2, Cannonball vs the Wannahuckalugie and V vs Sic Mic! As it turns out Sic Mic had a brand new bike (literally delivered that day) complete with pint holder! I figured such a dedicated cyclist would have my number and both Rob and I were looking forward to a bite to eat and a sit down, specifically one that didn't involve moving the legs! However it was not to be, with both of us getting through to the quarter finals!
 |
| Sic Mic + pint holder |
By this time, standing was becoming difficult and both of us looked like we were running out of steam. Cannonball was up against the Procrastinator and I was up against the Flash! If we both made it through this round we'd be facing off against each other in the semi finals!
The crowd roared as Cannonball lined up against the Procrastinator, legs ready, coughing kept to a bare minimum. Then they were off, heads down and legs flying! Some excellent handicapping once again rendered the decision a difficult one, but Cannonball was awarded the win! Rob C was through the semi finals!
Then it was my turn, and in my state of complete exhaustion I almost became the only person on the night to fall off the rollers! Thankfully some excellent guidance from my holder, David Miller, resulted in me starting the race semi-upright and on my bike.
I knew if I won this one the next round would be Bob vs Bob! The potential for drama was high as we got the starting signal and I powered my legs into action. The crowd cheered for both of us, but in the Flash pipped me at the post, ending my night, but on the bright side I could now have a cider!
 |
| Deano cheering on Sheepstations (I think) |
After a restorative cider, I resumed domestic duties, excited to be supporting a Bob in the Semi Finals! Even though I'm sure Cannonball was hoping to bow out this round, I couldn't help but hope he would beat the Flash, who had just beaten me.
 |
| The Flash |
After a suitable break, I set up the Cannonball's bike on the rollers and positioned myself in prime cheering position. Head hung low from coughing, the Cannonball made his way onto the bike. The Flash was raring to go and I must admit, I thought it would be a hard ask for the Cannonball to take him. But Rob C is nothing if not stubborn (often to his detriment) and when they were told go, he pedaled his legs off! I cheered him on with the rallying cry of "Go Bob" and he just kept pedaling harder. Finally the race was done and he had won! The Cannonball had made it to the final!
 |
| The Cannonball . . . vs |
This is where I may have lost the plot a little, laughing my head off as I collected his bike an congratulated him, because what I had been told is that the final would be raced over 1000m! That was double the distance we had been racing! There was Rob, doubled over, coughing his lungs out with me standing there laughing at the fact he would have to go on! The Bobs must be crazy!
 |
| . . . Deano |
The final would be Port Adelaide favourite "Deano" vs Crazy "Cannonball" from the Bobs. Deano looked fit and raring to go, having taken out competitors such as Pecker Legs (who had beaten Anna Meares) and Sheep Stations, not to mention the fastest rider on the night, Rikster! Cannonball on the other hand, while having knocked off some quality competition, looked like he could barely stand and the compere was having trouble getting a word out of him between coughing fits! Still, I had seen him ride in worse conditions numerous times, so I wasn't going to give up on him yet.
 |
| The Final |
The Bobs had done themselves proud, with a hard fought 2nd place. Neither of us had anything left and I'm pretty sure I sacrificed my voice as well as my legs at this race! Congratulations to Deano for the win and many thanks to Port Adelaide Cycling Club and all the volunteers who helped put this race on, I'm looking forward to the next one!
In case you're still at a loss as to what I've been talking about, check out this short video compiled by the Dark Destroyer. Also, thanks to Mr Carl for providing the pictures for this blog post.
No comments:
Post a Comment